I am a mother in my mid-thirties who is currently watching in disbelief as the horror film which is humanity’s destruction of the planet we depend upon for survival plays out. Climate change and ecological breakdown has been a huge concern of mine for most of my life, but it is only in recent months that I’ve opened my eyes to the fact that it now presents an existential threat to humanity in my lifetime and that of my 12 year old daughter.
Having absorbed myself in the science for the past couple of months, I’ve begun to accept that it is too late to avoid climate catastrophe now, it is already unfolding, and near-time societal collapse is extremely likely as we are hit by mass starvation. Although this sounds like a pessimistic view to take, I believe it reflects the truth, and accepting this is enabling me to rise above the denial that so many are lost in and work out what I want and need to do with my life in the time we have left. Far from being a negative position devoid of hope, it is in fact empowering and liberating to have woken up fully to the crisis we are in. I am supportive of Jem Bendell‘s Deep Adaptation agenda, and am an activist with Extinction Rebellion – whilst it seems too late to prevent climate and ecological breakdown now, these people believe we still have time to act to reduce the harm it causes and stop things from being even worse.
This blog will serve two main purposes for me. The first is that I hope it will help to spread the word about the emergency humanity and the planet currently faces, because I find it horrifying that we are facing catastrophe and the possibility of human extinction and yet most people have no idea because governments and mainstream media are not telling the truth. The second is that it will help me to process my thoughts and feelings around what is happening, and in turn hopefully help other people who are struggling with this awareness too. At the moment so much of the population is in denial that it seems as though those of us who have woken up to the reality of the situation are holding the grief for everyone else. This is hard and lonely. My first thought when I wake up each morning is of the environmental catastrophe we are in and it hangs around me like a black cloud nearly all the time now. Writing helps me process the pain, grief, fear and rage I feel that this is happening. And I hope it will help me build up a community of people and feel less alone with the fear of what is to come.
This blog is not a place to debate the science but I do welcome comments and insights from people on a similar path to me. At the same time as coming to terms with what is ahead of us, I am also in therapy and healing from complex-PTSD and a dissociative disorder as a result of developmental trauma and abuse. Whilst I write about my therapy journey on a separate blog, the insights and reflections I offer here are of course linked to my personal struggles; in many ways what is needed to heal from complex trauma is similar to what is needed to heal Mother Earth and there are many parallels. I don’t think it would be possible for me to write about my path through this new awareness and current reality without sharing aspects of my own struggles at times, but I do ask that you consider the vulnerability of what I am sharing here and respect my own struggles before commenting on my blog.
Thank you for joining me in solidarity with Mother Earth and all who depend upon her.